Sister Cocaine

A few years ago I was playing a show with Chris Downing at Clarkson University. A girl came up between songs and asked me to guess her name. What? I said I didn't know, and she said "Crystal Cocaine". Of course, I made her prove it, and she showed me her ID. Sure enough, that's her name (spelled a little differently, but still).

Some time after that, I found myself in an online songwriting competition called Nur Ein. The song title Sister Cocaine came up, and having only five days to write and record a song, I penned a fanciful story of the difficulties that such a name might present. The version of the song on the Onward To Yesterday CD is a slightly reworked (and remastered) version of that original demo.


Sister Cocaine

I knew a girl named Crystal Cocaine back in school
And I remember thinking her name was pretty cool
But twenty years of jokes and jeers had left her offended
And she thought that getting married was a good way to end it

She wasn't very choosy when she found a fiancee
He left her for a floozy who was built like Beyonce
Another year alone and she had finally decided
Her name was all she owned and she was foolish to hide it

But with a name like Crystal Cocaine
She aimed to live a life of humiliation and pain
No matter what she did or what she'd say
All that they'd remember was her name

She told her priest her sorrow was as deep as the ocean
He suggested that she follow a life of devotion
A better way was waiting there for Crystal to grab it
'Cause maybe all she needed was to take up a habit

So she hid away her beauty like a pearl in an oyster
And she did her sacred duty with the girls in the cloister
Soon it came time for her to do her missionary service
Even though the Reverend Mother was admittedly nervous

'Cause with a name like Sister Cocaine
She aimed to bring the nunnery nothing but shame
She could save a hundred sould but at the end of the day
All that they would ever remember was her name
No matter what she did or what she'd say
All that they'd remember was her name

(instr.)

'Cause with a name like Sister Cocaine
She aimed to bring the congregation nothing but shame
No matter what she did or what she'd say
All that they'd remember was her name

This song (and all the others on Onward To Yesterday) can be heard on the music player to the right.